Posts Tagged ‘motherhood’


Larry likes metal.  Not the material the music.  Yes, really!

Following a recent Iron Maiden concert he walked into the dining room unrolling the above poster and taping it to the door in order to flatten it out.  For what purpose you ask?  Well, to hang in a poster frame in our t.v./ his guitar room.
To which I replied, NO!  To which he replied, you said I could decorate that room.  To which I replied, ya with album covers that are appropriate. Last time I checked Led Zeppelin did not have scary skeleton men with bloody weapons.

Well, this banter went on for a while.  With lengthy explanations from me discussing how such images will scar our children for life.  How they will have nightmares forever!

With that, in walked Ava…

“Oh, wow daddy that is a nice new picture you have.”


Larry: “Do you like it Ava, do you think it is scary?”

Ava: “Ya, I like it.  It is a good guy he has to fight all the bad guys and save everyone.”

Larry: GIANT smile

Yep, the poster is now hanging.




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I have often heard it said that traveling with children is a trip it is only traveling without children that is a vacation.

Ava was born approximately 1600 days ago. In that 1600 days I have left for one 36 hour period for a girls night, one birthday night away with Larry and 4 days for an anniversary trip with Larry before Ella came.  Other than that I have been away an hour or few here and there.  Constant.  Motherhood has been constant.

And with that consistency comes the cycle.  I love my life, I am so lucky, I am so tired,  If I have one more of the same day I am going to loose it,  I am really tired, Lost it, head-wall, head-wall, I can do this, I am still tired, OK today was not so bad, now REPEAT!  And REPEAT!  And REPEAT!  OK so you get it!

At last a VACATION….  I joined Larry at a conference in San Diego.  Three full days waking up with no kids, eating with no kids, putting no kids to sleep.  I got to eat good food, drink good wine, sleep and SHOP by myself!!! Yes try clothes on, find good deals, find things that actually made a complete wardrobe so I will actually wear them.  It was heaven.

Sidenote: 4 weeks of sickness and in turn exhaustion followed but it was totally worth it!


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My heart

I often refer to Ava as my heart there are is no better way to explain motherhood. My heart is hers, always. The day she was born changed my life forever in a way that only those who are parents could possible understand. I do not say that to sound superior it just is a fact.  You may share your heart with many people throughout your life.  But it only children that you give it to completely, without a thought, every minute of everyday for a lifetime.

Ava is four.  I have been saying this for three months now but it still does not seem possible.  I can remember every minute of the day she was born.  I can almost feel her in my arms as a newborn sleeping next to me.  I can see her in her moses basket dreaming.  Now she is a kid as she says.  “I was a little, tiny baby but then I turned four and now I am a kid.”  Yep!  That is my girl!

I wanted to capture four, just as she is.  To me these photos scream four year old.  She has her bright yellow boots and her favorite lovie Black Cat.  What I think I love most however, are the unicorn tattoos covering her legs and arms.  This is just how I want to remember four.

My heart,  singing songs, dancing, sleeping peacefully in a bed covered with lovies and stuffed friends.  A giggle so big that she covers it with her hands and a pout equally as disarming!  Obstinate, stubborn and sassy at times (sometimes a lot) but looks right at you and says, “I think I love you very much mom” with more sincerity than I thought possible from another person. As I said she carries with her my heart, always.

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I need to start attending AA.

Anthropologie Anonymous 

It has been a while since I visited my old friend Anthro.  We used to have a pretty monogamous relationship until my post pregnancy body.  For years I have walked by the windows longingly dreaming of that crisp white bag stenciled with gray lettering. Not daring to go in and excpeting my oversized, black and grey,  gap wardrobe.

But as Ryan Gosling says in “Crazy Stupid Love”,  “I am better than the Gap”

Do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong with The Gap but it is no Anthro.  I have lost enough of the baby weight that investing in me is a priority or perhaps it has now reaching the levels of addiction.

My bank account and better said my loving husband funded me some investment in myself money where I got a few things I am LOVING but my bank account is empty and so I must resort back to the stage of Coveting… at least for now.

All Anthropologie except the poppy red skirt which is J Crew.

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These are in fact pictures of me and my girls together!

Thanks to my friend Jaime from JLV Photography I actually have pictures of my and my loves.  Now I have no excuse not to finally start and complete our currently non-existent family photo wall.  Family pictures are next on the to do list!  Thanks so very much Jaime I will treasure these always!

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I have never been one for many friends. I love my own space and personal time and would much rather have a handful of friends that I truly know and love than try to balance an entourage. I also have had friends for different reasons and at different times in life. Friendship is a rollercoster. Highs and lows, close and apart. In the end who is left? Who really has your back? Who would drop everything and be present? Hopefully we all have someone in our lives like that. Even more I hope that someone considers me that person in their life.

My mom taught me what friendship is.  Watching how much she valued the people close to her, cared for them, about them.  As I have said countless times she is my best friend there are no words for the closeness and importance she has in my life.  And the joy I feel watching her with my girls is unmeasurable.

These are the pictures of a lifetime friendship.  My mom and Aunt Sally have been a part of each others lives since kindergarten. Pretty remarkable.  I am so glad that I captured this time of them both together and with my girls. Smiles, giggles, laughter and wine.  Memories to treasure.



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